Don't Pee on the Bee

Genes in the (Dish)washer

I don't even know where to start this post, but I am in love with it already!  (Weirdo!)  It's just that it feels so good to get some validation about a few things in my life!  But before we get there, there will be a few twists and turns in the story, so please bear with me. 

Remember my post I'm Just Helping?  In it, I admitted to rearranging the dishwasher when my husband loads it.  (And I guess since I am admitting things, I might as well just say that I really don't let anyone load my dishwasher!  Suffice it to say that if you come to my house and any kind of cups, plates or utensils are involved, you will not be allowed to help clean up the kitchen.  Just ask my mother-in-law.  She finally stopped asking and just goes out in the living room and plays with the kids!  Good Grannie!)

Well, my mom happens to read my blog, and a few days after that post, she called me and said, "Check your mail!  I sent you something, and it is going to make you laugh!"  So a few days later, there it is . . . an envelope from my mom.  Now I think I've already said this numerous times, but for those of you who haven't paid attention, I'll say it again--My mom loves to cut articles out of the paper and send them to people.  (But I think she sends the majority of them to me!  I don't think anyone else would actually read all the stuff she sends!)  And guess what?  My grandma used to do it to her!  So I have a feeling that Sarah will be getting envelopes stuffed with important information that I think will interest her.  Although by the time she's old enough to start getting these envelopes, (a) I might be too old and feeble to write, or (b) there will be no such thing as envelopes, stamps and the postal service!  But I digress . . .

In the envelope was 2 articles and a note.

Your blog reminded me of years ago.  Linda and you were here.  Linda said to you that I rearranged the dishwasher after she had loaded it!  Your comment was "Don't feel bad.  Mom does that to me all the time."  Like mother, like daughter!

Now honestly, I don't even remember when that was, and I don't remember my mom being a dishwasher freak either, but apparently it may run in the family!  But that really wasn't very funny, was it?  So I kept perusing . . .

The first piece of newspaper I picked up and read (with a handwritten Laughed out loud! at the top of the piece) was by Jon Carroll, a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle.  It was dated May 6, 2011, and was titled The Art of Dishwasher Management.  Oooooh, yeah.  It made me laugh!

I am the chief dishwasher in this house, and I like to have some control over my territory  I like things in a certain order because (a) it's possible to get more stuff in the washer per load if Certain Rules are followed and (b) it's possible to unload the dishwasher more quickly if like objects are grouped together.

I can't really explain this to people as fully as I'd like because I'd look like some uptight kitchen Nazi . . .    

I am already completely in love with this man!  I completely agree with both (a) and (b) and have made these statements repeatedly to those who will (not!) listen--ahem, J.R.!  And I just love the capitalized Certain Rules.  It just makes things so much easier when Certain Rules are followed, right?   And feeling like an uptight kitchen Nazi?  Oh, thank you, man, for putting words to the feeling!

If you are one of us--and I know there are at least a few of you out there because you emailed me or called me!--you have got to read his column.  And if you just need a good laugh, read it.  The story about the non-English-speaking grandmother and the dishwasher debate is pretty funny too!

But let me quote Mr. Carroll one more time . . .

And spatulas.  Don't get me started on spatulas. 

Amen, brother!  Where's the support group?





 

 

 

The Race Continues

As  I mentioned not too long ago in A Little Local Love, my letter to the editor about Race to Nowhere was published.  My mom read it online and then called me and asked me if I had read the online comments.  Duh.  I don't know why I didn't think of that!  Then she said I might not want to--which, of course, being the 16 year old child of hers that I am, I promptly did what she told me not to do!

Not so much love.  Actually, none of the comments were positive.  And most were a back-and-forth between two commenters who were disagreeing about what they had written, not what I had written.  As I fumed momentarily, I realized that these people had completely missed the point.  While I contemplated adding my two cents worth, I knew that it would truly be a complete waste of my time.  It's obvious that when a commenter is basically saying that we need to tell our 2, 3, and 4 year olds to "get a grip," any further comments I had to add would lead to nowhere.

But then a few days later, there was another letter published, similar to mine, from an 87-year-old great-grandmother.  She had seen the movie too and was moved as well.  After reading her letter, I immediately got online to see what people might have to say this time.  No surprise.  The same people who had commented on my letter basically ripped her letter too.  Although this time, at least one of the writers acknowledged that  it is difficult to state your views in 1500 words (which must be the comment limit).  But the others?  They had no problem with their words.  "Same as (so-and-so)."  "Ditto."  At least that was better than reading their own (potentially coherent) thoughts.

This time, though, I was really steamed and wanted to comment so badly.  But again, reason overcame me, and I knew it wasn't worth it.  But the one thing I did consider was adding a comment and offering to pay for their tickets to go and see the showing that was happening this week.  As I began to imagine how those comments would fly, I decided to get off the computer and try to forget about it.  It's not that I  think that they need to agree with me.  It's just that I feel that their comments were so one-sided.  If they hadn't seen the movie, how could they really know what they were commenting on? 

So I'm going to continue for as much face-to-face conversation about this with the occasional blog post and see where it--and I--go from here!

A Little Local Love

So my letter to the editor about Race to Nowhere was published in our paper on Friday!  It's funny how even something little like that can be such a thrill to a writer.  And it's even more interesting to hear from people who read it!

A past employee of mine called and left me a message about it, saying that she found herself in the past arguing with her daughter's teachers about the amount of homework that she had.  One of the teachers suggested that her daughter do her homework in the car as they were driving to a very large family reunion in order to get it done!  Carsickness, be damned!

At JJ's t-ball game on Saturday, I ended up talking about it with some of the parents on the team who had read it as well.  We had a fabulous discussion in between hoots and hollers for our kids!  And we all agreed that we were grateful for our coaches who are pretty laid back and really want the kids to have fun while they are out there.  But some admitted to really needing to take a look at the messages that they send their kids.  At the same time, we all agreed that we do want our kids to do well in life, and if we are too laid back (in terms of homework and extra-curricular activities and college), will we be holding them back?  None of the answers are easy, but it is just so good to get those conversations going!

I'm still waiting to hear from my dad.  He reads the paper cover to cover (or so he says), so I am curious to see if he reads the letters to the editor.  I would think that if he had read it, I would have had a phone call by now!  

And of course, one of the facilitators of the Youth Commission who hosted the event emailed me with thanks.  I told her that I had done it for the youth more than I had done it for myself!  We'll see if I hear more!  And what kinds of conversations we can get started!

Race to Nowhere

 
On Tuesday night I had the privilege of seeing a very provocative movie called Race to Nowhere.  This movie was conceived by a mother who had concerns about her children as they navigate the early years of their education and are already suffering consequences from the overachievement culture that has become so prevalent in the United States.  The screening here in our smallish town was sold out and was attended by teachers, parents, youth, art instructors, local 4-H employees and a myriad of other people.  Our county Youth Commission hosted the event which made it even more relevant. 

I was so moved by the event that I had a difficult time sleeping that night, and yesterday not only did I write a letter to the editor of our local paper, I also sent another letter to the editor strongly suggesting that the paper take up this issue and at least write an article about the impact that the movie had on those who witnessed it. 

The movie interviewed teens, teachers, parents, administrators and health experts from across the United States and discussed the issues that are facing our children, especially as they enter middle school and high school.  Most of these teens are stressed beyond belief, trying to keep up with their AP (Advanced Placement) classes, sports, clubs and community service.  I have been told that the latest college applications have numerous pages where applicants must list all the extra-curricular things that they have done in addition to have nearly perfect grades.  And of course, this movie was made just as the economy was tanking, so it doesn't even take into account the fact that it is even more difficult now to get into college due to all the budget cuts at the state and national levels.  I was talking with a woman who has a college counseling business, and she told me that one "good" school (I can't remember which one now) got something like 50,000 applications for this school year and will be accepting closer to 4,000!

The haunting part of this movie dealt with the suicides of these young teens who cannot deal with the stress any longer and take matters into their own hands.  As the movie was being filmed, a 13-year-old girl killed herself over a bad math grade.  The sad thing is that after the movie, we were asked to discuss our thoughts with the person next to us.  And sadly enough, the woman next to me had experienced the suicide of her son's friend when he was only in 8th grade.  He had gotten a bad grade and was afraid to share it with his parents and hung himself instead.  So it wasn't just some heartstring-pulling event in the movie, it was sitting right next to me as well.

Getting Home

Today would have been Rosa Parks' 97th birthday.  Here, eleven words that spoke volumes and created great change:

"All I was doing was trying to get home from work."

Reading those words, I was struck by their simplicity, their honesty and their reality (a woman just needed to get home).  But they resonated for me, too, as I think of all of us parents who parent on a daily basis and just do what we need to do to make it happen.  On that level, we are all heroes too.

The Only Book You'll Ever Really Need...

. . . at least according to Maria Rodale in the Nov-Jan 2009/10 issue of Organic Gardening.   She's talking about John Seymour's The Self-Sufficient Life and How to Live It: The Complete Back-to-Basics Guide. 

   

These days, it's easy to believe that anything could happen . . . climate crisis, economic collapse, and flu pandemics have cast a gloomy pall over our lives.  Trying times have made us realize that what really matters is being able to provide the basics to ourselves and our families.  Today, we recognize it as sustainability.  In the 1970s, it was called self-sufficiency, and was identified with the loony fringe.  The recognized leader of the self-sufficiency movement was  a Welshman named John Seymour.

She goes on to tell about meeting Seymour early in her life after her father passed away, and then, years later,  signing up her 15 year old daughter and husband for a self-sufficiency course "vacation" at Seymour's home in Ireland, something that all of them still consider to be one of the best weeks in their lives.  Seymour died at the age of 90, but his book has been updated and recently re-released. 

 For more information, check out http://www.self-sufficicency.net.   I'm curious!  It reminds me of Laura Ingalls Wilder and the Little House on the Prairie books!  I used to dream about shelling peas, milking the cows and making preserves!

Nurture Shock

Got something new coming up for next week!  Now THIS book has already gotten me going, and I only read the introduction!  Nurture Shock: New Thinking about Childrenby Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman has received heaps of reviews and, according to the book jacket, "provides a revolutionary new perspective on childhood that upends a library's worth of conventional wisdom."

Po and Merryman shook up the field of child development when they first published their article, "The Inverse Power of Praise" in New York magazine. The first chapter of the book is based on this article. Other chapters include confidence, racial attitudes, sibling conflict, aggression and gratitude.  The two had been researching the science of motivation in adults and began to investigate how children gain their self-confidence.  After looking into the science of it all, the two were left with their own personal questions about parental instincts versus the scientific findings.