Don't Pee on the Bee

But Why?

This is the title of an article by Lora Shinn that is in the September 2011 issue of Kiwi magazine.  The subtitle is Raising kids who think.  Of course, I honed right onto that one and started reading right away!  She talks about trying to answer the Big Questions that our children ask us while fostering their ability to think things through, and yes, even get a little philosophical. 

Now some days, the last thing I want to do is get philosophical with JJ!  He wants to get to the bottom of everything and be sure that he really understands it.  Some days I just want to tell him to stop thinking!  But on a good day, if there is time, I think that some of the ideas that Shinn presents are good ones.  She says that when your child is asking these Big Questions, "Your child is demonstrating his natural inclination to speculate, reason, and persuade.  ANd if he were in college instead of second grade, he's be considered a philosopher.  So go with it:  Encouraging philosophical conversations can boost a child's creativity, language, and critical-thinking skills."  But she's also not some parenting advice wacko (perhaps I could have put that a bit more nicely!) who is telling us to have conversations like this all the time.  She believes it's OK to just say "Lights out because I said so!" and talk about the big issues later.

She's got some suggestions on how to get these conversations started, one that involves Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree.  She suggests that after reading this, you might discuss:  Is it possible to give too much?  Can we love books and paper but also dislike chopping down trees?  I've got to say that both of these intrigue me!  I already worry about Sarah sometimes as she is often so readily willing to give whatever she has got to someone else.  And I know that's a fine trait on the one hand, but I also don't want her to be the kind of young woman who gives other people what they want in order to keep them happy if it doesn't make her happy.  (Maybe I'm the parenting advice wacko now for worrying too much about this!)

Back to the topic at hand . . . But I also love the question about paper and books and trees!  And I would love to hear what my kids have to say about this.  I could see a really fruitful conversation coming from this.  And speaking of books, the article also references a blog Wondering Aloud that has more ideas like these.  But what I really love about Wondering Aloud is the books and ideas that are listed!  I just ordered Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox because of this site!  And here's the irony . . . As I was writing this, Sarah just came in and told me that she and JJ are playing a game called "Old Lady," and then when I saw the author's name, I just laughed too.  This is the first author that Sarah's class will be studying this month.  I love how the Universe works!

 

Toward A June Sunset We Go

It's so nice to feel caught up on all my magazines!  I love it when I can blog about an issue that is still on the newsstands!!!

The June 2011 issue of Sunset magazine has some fun stuff going on in it!  First of all is the description of a new book called Walkabout Northern California: Hiking Inn to Inn.  The book takes the European practice of "trekking to food and rest without having to lug your load" and infuses it with a Northern California environment.  There are treks in Mendocino and in the Sierras.  Maybe it appeals to my memories of traipsing through Europe with a big ol' backpack on my back, but I think that hiking and then having someone prepare my dinner and let me sleep in a nice comfy bed sounds like a cool way to spend a few days!   Maybe when the kids get older . . .

And speaking of kids, I wish that I had taken this magazine with me when we were in Santa Cruz.  There is a new ice cream place called The Penny Ice Creamery where they make their own ice cream on site  And the flavors?  How does strawberry pink peppercorn or cherry balsamic sound?  To me, the cherry balsamic sounds amazing!  And if the kids don't like it, we can always get them their favorites--strawberry and rainbow sherbet--somewhere else!

And for another unusual taste?  How about Crispy grilled kale with creamy sesame dressing?  Kale on the barbeque.  Can you believe it?  We will definitely be scouting out the dinosaur kale at the farmer's market!  And sesame seeds and tahini always rock my world, so I think this sounds amazing!  And there is also a recipe for grilled romaine with guacamole dressing?  Doesn't that sound interesting too?

And for those of you who, like me, loved reading Barbara Kingsolver's book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, you should check out Sunset's blog, One Block Diet.  They took "locavore" to a totally different level!  And, of course, they are Sunset, so they have access to an amazing garden space and a number of experts, but still, this blog and the teams of people who are working on this are pretty amazing and very down-to-earth!  I love it.  And with the additions of our chickens, we just took it to another level too!  Yahoo!

 

But I'm Just Helping . . .

Those words have become a big joke around our house these days.  And no, those words are not coming out of my kids' mouths!  They come out of my husband's mouth.  I just fake smile at him, turn around and grimace.  He knows about the grimace, and it makes him laugh.

So the other night when I was reading the May 2011 issue of Parenting magazine, I cracked up when I read the Pop Culture column by Shawn Bean called Help Has No Fury . . ..  I always enjoy his columns and probably ought to read his blog more often since he always makes me laugh.

So anyway, he shares about a recent study that was published in Developmental Psychology that shows that the more that fathers participated in "the caregiving of their child," the more conflict there was between the parents.  I think I might need to get my hands on a copy of that study!  And I'm not sure why they didn't ask me to participate.  I could have saved them a lot of work and just told them how it was!

This is us.  Well, probably a sentence closer to the truth is This is me.  And my husband knows it.  Try as I might, I have the hardest time letting him do things his way.  Even after I read this article, I said to him, "I usually cook JJ's egg in the blue bowl."  Then I realized what I was doing, so I quickly added, "I think the white bowl is fine.  I'm just saying that I use the blue bowls.  And since they are a little bit bigger, it might change the cooking time.  That's why I'm telling you . . . "  I swear I felt like I was tripping on my tongue!  What I really wanted to say was, "Will you just use the blue bowl like I showed you???"  And don't even get me started on the dishwasher.  I will just straight up admit that I re-load it whenever my husband tries to "help" and load it himself.  I am one of them.  Is there a support group for us?

And the sad thing is that I know when I'm not here, the kids and my husband are just fine.  But it's kind of affirming  sad   funny (hmmm . . . can't find the right word here!) to hear the kids complain about the way that their dad does things.  "He doesn't sing me a lullaby like you do, Mommy."  "Nope.  Daddy didn't say our prayers with us."  And yesterday . . . amidst loud wailing . . . "I want a big sandwich!  I don't like it when Daddy makes my lunch!"  But then I feel sort of responsible, like I might have contributed to some of their disgruntlement (is that even a word???) with their dad.  But I've got to admit, there is that voice in my head that says If he would only do it my way, everything would be fine.

I wonder if the study has some answers for us instead of just telling us what we, as amazing and intelligent mothers, already know.

Who Knew Tempeh Could Taste So Good?

So many of you know that I love to cook!  My husband is the envy of his job site when he pulls out his lunch each day as guys are eating McDonald's and Burger King.  "What's that?"  "Where'd you get that?"  "Really?  Your wife made that?"  "Can I have a taste?"  ("Hell no!")  (As I was writing those, I had that "dumb guy" voice going in my head!  Try reading it again and changing the voice up.  Make yourself laugh.  You can see how my day is going!)

Anyway, the last few months, though, cooking has been a serious chore!  And I don't really know why.  But I do take solace in the fact that a good friend of mine who loves to cook has been going through the same thing.  And even my mom, who makes far less food than I do, has been complaining about having to cook recently.  Is it just that winter has finally ended, and we are ready to cook something less winter-y?  I don't know.  But I do know that I just got a fabulous new cook book from the author of the blog 101 Cookbooks, Heidi Swanson.  The new cook book is called super natural every day.  She is a vegetarian who makes some pretty amazing things.  She uses ingredients I have never even heard of which sometimes can be daunting.  But overall, she makes healthy meals that anyone can make.  Plus she is great about listing substitutes as well.  All in all, she is amazing.

So last week sometime I made a vow to myself to actually cook dinner every night for a week.  And I am proud to say, I did it.  But we needed something with no meat for Good Friday, so I pulled out my new cook book and found something that sounded amazing . . . Pomegranate Glazed Eggplant with Tempeh.  Woo hoo!  Right up my wannabe-vegetarian aisle!  Basically it is roasted Asian eggplant and sweet potato chunks with tempeh cubes.  A simple marinade of pomegranate molasses (or just plain pomegranate juicein this case), some oil and some spices, and it was practically done.   Sprinkle with some feta and cilantro, and woo hoo!  I made brown rice and sauteed some collard greens in garlic, and it was a fabulous meal!  Everyone liked it.  J.R. said I could definitely make it again, and lo and behold, my kids liked the Asian eggplant, something I adore and never cook.  Never until now, that is! 

Let this entice you . . .

 

Meatless Saturday

Being Lent and all, there's no meat on Fridays for us Catholics.  J.R. gets a little grumbly around this time.  It drives me crazy, and I think that is all that I will say about that. 

So I had a fabulous meatless dinner planned for Friday night.  And then I remembered that I wouldn't be home until about 6:00 that night which meant that we would not be eating this new recipe on Friday.  I can't even remember what we ate now, but we somehow made it through Friday completely meatless.  But when I started cooking on Saturday, J.R. was nosing around the kitchen and finally said, "What are you making for dinner?"  When I read him the recipe title, "Winter Vegetable & Tofu Korma," he looked at me like I was crazy.  And then he was rather brave, I thought, when he said, "It isn't Friday.  Where's the meat?"  Then it was my turn to shoot him a look, and he quickly walked out of the kitchen.

And excuse me, now, as I toot my own horn, but that was one good dinner!  (Thanks to Heidi at 101 Cookbooks for the recipe.)  Cauliflower, potatoes, onions, garlic, almonds and tofu and some spices.  But it wasn't too spicy.  In fact, I am going to spice it up a bit more when I make it the next time.  And it made a lot, so if you are a small household, you might want to make less or freeze some of it.  And I definitely recommend a dollop of Greek yogurt on top with cilantro!

 

Who We Already Are

  

It is through our ordinariness, our being completely and utterly who we already are, that we can shift the world's negative energy.
~The Holy Teaching of the Vimalakirti

(Highlighted by Geri Larkin in "The Weight of Goodness," Jan-Feb issue of Spirituality & Health magazine)

And thanks to Spirituality & Health's Spirit Booster's blog for this quote.  You can sign up and get a (usually!) daily quote.  I love it because the quotes' sources are so broad.  And I particularly loved this one as it just gets to the heart of my reflections on my holidays.  But more of that to come later.  For now, I hope you have a fabulous day and can just be who you already are. 

Post script:  I wasn't planning on putting a picture of me in this post.  My ego is not that outsized today!  But Sarah came in, picked up the camera and started taking pictures.  She took this one, and in a way, it seemed to be the right picture to post.  Me, ordinary, trying to be me in what I write, hoping to do something positive.  Thank you, my sweet girl!

My Gut

So I am really feeling kicked in the gut these days.  And I don't usually have gut problems.  Neck?  Yep.  Shoulders?  Sure.  Back?  You got it.  But usually not gut.  So I'm not feeling particularly jolly about things--even though there is nodoubt in my currently split mind that I am truly blessed.  But still, that human-ness can get in the way of our beliefs and faith at times.

A very good friend of mine is seriously ill and very young, and it is just rocking my world to the core.  On top of that, some dissension in my family about the holidays is jamming its way in as well.  And yes, I know I could take a big deep breath, think some positive thoughts and perhaps some of the angst would go away, but it's just not working right now.

I was feeling a bit bad the other day about the family stuff.  Our extended family holiday is at my house this year, and I proposed some changes a la Hundred Dollar Holiday.  They didn't go over particularly well.  I had even forwarded a copy of my November article along with my email to my family, thinking that that would give them some perspective on where I was coming from this year.  I had every intention of forwarding the December issue as well.  Now I think not.  Of course, they can still read it if they want to, but not as a link in an email from me.

But as I was feeling bad that day, the Spirit Boosters blog appeared in my email, and so, of course, I read it.  Here's what Susan L. Shoenbeck had to say:

                    Ben Franklin had it right: get your values written down, share them, and then live a life that matches who you have decided you are.

Funny the places where we can find validation.  With that, here's my December article on Really, Truly Happy Holidays.  I'm not a Grinch.  I'm Ben Franklin's new BFF!

To read Susan L. Schoenbeck's recent article, Living Your Values, in Spirituality & Health magazine, click here.  The focus of the article is not actually about us learning to live our values now, but more about knowing what values our parents want to be remembered for when they are gone.  A fascinating and very thought-provoking article.