The Bad Mother police battle the Bad Mother choir

Ayelet Waldman's book has been an interesting read.  It has definitely made me think about a few things differently.  Some of her thoughts I agree with.  Others, I don't, but I don't have to agree 100% with someone or something in order to learn from it!

She talks about the "Bad Mother police,"  that is, anyone who goes around telling other moms what to do.  (We've all done it, even in a most benign way.)  But I also loved when she questioned, "How much self-awareness would it take for me to stop internalizing the chorus of the Bad Mother choir?"  I don't know if it is because I love music and have sung in choirs in the past, but I really liked how this sentence and sentiment played out.  I hear those voices in my head!

In Chapter 4, Breast Is Best, Waldman discusses the certitude that certain types of parents exhibit when it comes to their parenting philosophy.  She does not espouse a particular parenting philosophy, but instead quotes blogger Julie from A Little Pregnant who describes her parenting style as " a series of reflexes, instincts, and minute-by-minute adjustments."  Waldman agrees with that definition and goes on to say parents with this kind of parenting style are less invested in their own practices and often act more out of convenience (of what is needed in the moment) rather than out of a sense of conviction.  She follows up by reminding parents like this that there is no need to apologize for our decisions, even if we are confronted by the ire of other parents and their philosophies.  I like this idea of motherhood being reflexive, instinctual and adjustable.  It sure gives us a lot more permission to be real!

So let's give ourselves a little break here and listen to something other than the Bad Mother choir today!  (Hey! Anyone want to start a band?)

Comments

[Bronwyn]

Hey, where's today's post. I wanted to read it before I went to work...you've got a fan club here, don't let us down. :(

[Bronwyn]

Your very first paragraph puts in print something I really like about you. "...but I don't have to agree 100% with someone or something in order to learn from it!" :)

And, Sara has a good point. We must keep ourselves healthy-our bodies and minds.

[Sara]

Hey lady! I'll exchange your Bill McKibben for my Guernsey Literary. Not forev but for a little. Whaddayasay?

I wanna start a band!! I love "motherhood being reflexive, instinctual and adjustable". Is there another way that is functional & HEALTHY? ;o)